thescienceofreality:

It’s so tiring to hear that just because I didn’t laugh at your ‘women belong in the kitchen’ joke, that I have no sense of humour. 

Meant to put up some background info for fun times but I basically left for the weekend soon after making the pic.   Part of the reason I made this image was that I was irritated at a particular exchange that went down on fb.   If this person happens to follow my blog, sorry man but you know I was not happy with that.  Not apologetic for reposting.  Conversation:

So basically he puts a horribly sexist joke that wasn’t even funny if we ignore the sexism, on a post that had nothing to even do with it (it was about Chick Fil A and gay suicide, you can read it  here

).  To go through what bothers me here (you need to read through it to understand context b/c it’s too much to copy/paste):

I do not respond in a way that is very confrontational, if anything it was meant to be, you know, as nice as possible, and a little funny, while still calling him out.   But basically because I reacted at all, I get asked “Do feminists have humor?”   And I was like reaaally did you just go there.   So for one, it annoys me that simply doing anything other than LOLing gets me labeled as a reactionary, angry feminist.

secondly, my friend (that commented with the Burn Baby Burn song, haha) makes a good point in that his apology is rather BS-y.   First of all, he contradicts himself- he is seemingly surprised I reacted negatively, yet at the same time ends his post with saying that I am “funny to annoy/argue with.”    Anyhow, she made a good point in that this in itself is a gendered way of approaching humor, and anger: girls do not ever say to guys things like, “I just think it’s so funny when you’re annoyed/angry/pissed off so that’s why I say things I know are going to aggravate you.”   Because then you sound like an asshole- why are you doing it?   But it’s a pretty common thing men say to women, like my anger or emotions are just “cute” and there for your pleasure, and not real or important or whatever.   My emotions are not here for you- I am not a machine you put a coin into to get a reaction out of- and I dislike anyone feeling entitled to “piss me off” for funsies.   What sort of friend are you?   And of course, you’re not really sorry if your apology says, “I’m sorry I offended you.”   Either you be sorry for being offensive, or don’t try to placate me with your pseudo-sorry.

Also, it would be one thing if they sent that to me privately.    But if you’re posting someone on facebook, on a status that 10+ people have liked so clearly a lot of people will read the commentary, I have no choice but to call you out regardless of my personal feelings.   Other people don’t know who you are or if  you’re serious or not- by not calling you out, I’d give the impression that sexist humor is “okay” so long as they agree with me on something else, or whatever.

Lastly, me and my friend both thought it was kind of ridiculous that he expected me to provide a joke or something.   I don’t have to prove anything to you.   If you’re not going to behave on my facebook page or try to educate yourself when you’re wrong, you get out.   I have no time for  your childish behavior.  

People think they can shut you up and deflect criticism from themselves just by accusing you of being an angry, irrational woman who “doesn’t get their wayward sense of humor,” and you know what?   Yes, I am a sensitive person, and I’m not going to apologize for that.   You’re in my personal space and I’m going to verbally eviscerate you until you realize you’re never going to try that again with me.   You think I’m being irrational?  I don’t give a shit.  I’m not on your side and I am not looking for your approval- I don’t need it.  End of story.