chivalry is inherently sexist.  Courtesy is universally appreciated.

"Being polite" isn’t some sort of universal element, especially if other people are being annoyed by it.  Being polite doesn’t involve making people uncomfortable because you believe your own courtesy rules are superior, you know?  It means catering to their needs, to make them comfortable, not you.   

If you’re interested in studies about the negatives psychological effects on women when men enforce chivalry, another term to google along with chivalry is “benevolent sexism.”    You might find some interesting pieces this way. 

I’ve heard of the studies in that research blog before, and I think the findings are incredibly illuminating, but to quote a small section of their test results:

So, what did that little act of “politeness” do?  Well, when they compared the two groups’ survey scores, they found that in the group that watched Tim’s act of chivalry, women felt a stronger sense of shame about their body.  They were more concerned about their bodies not fitting into society’s standards of how a woman should look.  This group was also more preoccupied with monitoring their appearance (which researchers call “body surveillance”).  Basically, the group that saw Tim’s act of “politeness” examined their bodies more to see how they compared to cultural standards of beauty and felt shame about not fitting into what society says women should look like.

But what do we make of these results? How could Tim’s simple act of carrying a box make women feel bad about their bodies? The authors propose that benevolent sexism, even though it may be meant to convey respect, actually reinforces traditional gender roles.  Traditional femininity emphasizes the importance of a woman looking attractive (as opposed to intelligent, witty etc.) Without being aware of it, simply being reminded of traditional gender roles can make women more concerned about how they look (as opposed to their accomplishments or personality) which translates into “body surveillance” or women checking themselves out. When women compare their bodies to cultural standards of beauty, they can feel a sense of shame if they think they don’t “measure up.”  It pretty much goes without saying that this is harmful to women and girls.

Because of these findings, I definitely think chivalry is not only outdated, it is harmful and we should not, as a society, encourage it any longer, or for any reason.